Mōrena Readers,
It is that time again, when emails are received, and entries are to be read. I feel like I’ve been on autopilot the last few weeks, and lacking a bit of intention in my action. Will be looking to break out of the funk, and start practicing some good habits. As always, I appreciate the time you spend each week reading my level 1 literacy word vomit.
Ego and confidence is often conflated today. Granted they are similar, but not the same. The difference between the two is a key distinction that is very important to understand, and consider: Evidence. Confidence is grounded in reality. It is based off of your own experiences, where you build the evidence that suggests you can fulfil whatever job it is in front of you. Ego, on the other hand, is the story you tell yourself about your own self-importance. Self-importance is inherently over-inflated, and propped up on detached ideas of your own character. The story you replay to yourself is so inflating it clouds your vision from your shortfalls and deficiencies.
Confidence is earned, ego is not — Ryan Holiday
Confidence teaches us to understand what we are, and what we are capable of. What it also does, is reveal to us what we are not. The humility born from confidence is the real gift: having the courage and security to admit your weaknesses and areas where you lack capabilities. The ego would tell you that humility is in and of itself a weakness. That by being humble, you will end up being walked all over and embarrassed. This fear of purporting weakness can convince us that just a bit of ego can actually be beneficial. After all, the most successful are always the loudest, right? Although ego underpins many stories of success, it even more so underpins stories of spectacular self-implosion. Howard Hughes Jr., Steve Jobs, and Lance Armstrong are all evidence of this.
The self-awareness born from humility is often mistaken for self-deprecation. You become so acutely aware of your shortfalls that it feels like a hopeless job. For this reason, humility is avoided like the plague by those underpinned by ego. This is a mistake. Embodying any level of humility is not to be weak. It is the very starting point to which we can become strong. Humility allows us to not only understand areas where we are weak, but to also acknowledge the value other people can provide us. By doing so, we can engage in action and growth without thinking we’re greater then we are.
You cannot learn that what you think you already know — Epictetus
🎓 Actionable Tips
Earn Your Right To Confidence
Confidence is earned not by telling anyone and everyone everything you’re going to achieve or by holding onto aspirations and grand plans of your own ascendance. It’s earned through action. Confidence is inextricably linked with evidence. Evidence is born through action. Every time you engage with activity related to a goal, you have created proof to yourself that you are able to do it. Soon the stack of proof will be so high, you wondered why you even got nervous in the first place. Take action, confidence follows.
Unmask
Ego can often be a mask of low self-esteem. To destroy your ego is to pull off the mask and reveal how inadequate you are. This can be a terrifying confrontation. But by doing so, you demonstrate the humility which reveals weaknesses. Recognizing them for what they are is a fundamental, and necessary step in the process of building ones confidence and suspending one’s ego.
Competition
In pursuit of superiority — becoming better — the objective should not be to climb higher than other people. It is to take a single step forward. The pursuit of superiority should be tied to one’s own action. To become more aligned with one’s ideal self. Life is not a competition with others, but one with your impulses and faults. Stop thinking of life as a competition with others.
Don’t Solely Rely On Belief
Ryan Holiday on Ego:
If you don’t believe you can do something, you probably won’t be able to do it. But just because you believe you can do it, does not mean that you are going to be able to do it.
Belief is necessary, but not sufficient in overcoming challenges, and doing hard things. If we forego improving one’s capabilities, ego will fill the gap between what you are capable of and what the challenge requires. This is false support. Focus on becoming competent, and the belief that comes from it is solid, and real.
Are your capabilities rigid or propped up by smoke?
Just Something To Consider
🔗 Sources
Holiday, R. Why Ego is the Greatest Opponent to your Creativity and Success. https://ryanholiday.net/why-ego-is-greatest-opponent-your-creativity-success-fight-back/