If you haven’t already picked up from the many entries in this newsletter, I’m a big fan of stoicism. Living my life based on the values and moral compass set by the ancient stoics has brought me quite a bit of peace so far. I’m not nearly as bothered about disruptive things I otherwise would have been. I try to be good and do good things. I try to focus on what’s within my control. I try to stop wasting time on things that are inessential. Stoicism has done a wealth of good for me and my ability to wrestle with the here and now.
My issue, especially since reading the Discourses from Epictetus, is that stoicism draws a very distinct line in the sand for what is and what isn’t within the standard. The internal dialogue I face if god forbid I miss the gym or sleep in late or fail to read a single page in a day is honestly something I’m not really proud of. It is within my power to go to bed early, so I can wake up early, so I can get to the gym early and make time before work to read my book. And most of the time I do (aside from going to bed early, which I almost never do). But when I don’t, there’s no one to blame but myself. What’s worst is that I might even do all of that, and yet I still feel self-critical. Maybe I could only fit in 45 minutes at the gym and not an hour. Maybe I only managed to fit in 5 pages before work. These are all objectively pretty good things to be doing, and should make me feel some sense of pride. Yet the dialogue always falls towards what I could have done, not necessarily what I had.
So what’s the solution? Where do I draw my own line?
There has to be a threshold you cross where you can safely affirm that: Yes Rawiri, you’ve done enough. Do I have to be perfect? I’m not even close. Is it just ‘more often then not?’ It’s advice I’d give to everyone else, so why can it not apply to me?
I think it’s important to challenge yourself. Physically through lifting, running, sport and activity. Mentally through writing, reading, learning and listening. But you have to draw line somewhere. Your own line. At the point where you give yourself some props. Give your self some respect. Give yourself some self-love. The rocky journey which stoicism has taken me on has taught me that my values are only as good as they are personal. It doesn’t do well to take all of something that appears sound and proclaim it as your truth. Rather than forming your beliefs and standards based on someone outside of yourself, listen and learn, take what works for you and leave the rest behind. I’m still learning that. Balancing my pride in the progress I’ve made and the demand for the progress I have yet to make.
There’s things that you could do better. But at the end of the day, I’m sure you’re doing well. That’s all that matters.
Just Something To Consider.
🔗 Sources
Rawiri